Focusing too much on looks-physical beauty, wealth represented by “things/money”- distracts people from the real importance. Therefore, for this exhibition, I wanted to shape things that do not have shapes. This is because the most important things cannot be seen. Friendship, love and hate, passion, and trust. The most important things cannot be easily obtained. It is not a simple one to two year period task. Therefore, people struggle. Such shapeless importance is only obtained through shaped actions. It is necessary to create new meaning to shape things and continue following etiquette, rules, and morals. Especially for the Japanese language, the subject is often not mentioned. Second person or third person, one item or multiple items, the ambiguity and the endless possibilities are because there is no shape. It is not clear if this is what makes the Japanese culture unique, but during this epidemic, Japanese people, and the world have all come together as one team to fight.
A single human has multiple sides. It is as though emotions have shapes. Enduring tragedy in a position of weakness is a side of tears for mercy. Blaming others for one’s own loss is a side of anger. Deceiving others for their own good is a side of coldness. Forgetting everything and laughing away is a side of joy. Being alone and not being able to stand it is a side of intolerance. In order to express such complicated emotions, we calculate our every move and control ourselves with a nonchalant look. My ugliness, my disability, my pervertedness, my failures, my faults, the frankness of people, my father’s anger, my mother’s betrayal, the disrespect to God. I fear all of it. Without the harmony within my mind and body, I cannot even decide what is right and left in my current cowardly state. This is the role I play. The poorly skilled supporting role. I wanted to play the main role, even if it was the third piece. I tried to colorfully express the mask of the Lion and its powerful portrayal as the king of the vast natures. I portrayed and expressed my own French interpretation of Kagura (sacred Shinto music and dance) and Mishima’s emotions and feelings. The shape of such masks have become footprints, similar to that of the history of people’s culture, which can be held and touched. In reality, these are shapeless thoughts established through time. They are abstract as well as concrete. We, through experience, know that we can overcome difficulties. Even with this fight against the virus, humankind will win once again. I would like to continue confirming that there are many people who have recovered from this illness.
9 years have passed since the Great East Japan Earthquake. As we do the best we can, time flies fast. After getting through the period when trying my best did not work, I faced my disability and myself. Did I change a little? Watching my niece and nephews grow up, I wear my happy mask, but I am also sad and scared. The only thing I can do is worry about them. In order to bury the sadness, I create artworks. Like when I was in my 20’s, covering my sleepless nights with Bob Dylan, a smoke and whiskey. Like the heavy Tokyo skies, writing poems, all alone during a hungry night with some coffee. Like those mornings, waking up alone, when I wanted you to stay instead of leaving. Since the great earthquake, Japan has recovered. Even though the 2020 Tokyo Olympic/Paralympic has been postponed, this is a great opportunity to not only prove the ability of Japan’s recovery, but also of humankind and its ability to win against difficult situations and strengthen its solidarity.
I want to challenge myself with anything that is meaningful. Life is the relationship between yourself and your ego. Polish yourself. Invest in yourself. Create yourself. I plan on becoming an actor or singer, who expresses themselves through their body. I want to introduce people to my way of thinking and understanding things through this. I may be able to attract people if I emphasize that I am doing something even though my disability seems like I cannot. I will need to challenge my possibilities. My fear of not being accepted, my of getting my certainties denied, my fear of getting my worries denied, I will need to change my self-consciousness on my certainty of denial and start fresh. I will need to change the direction of my imagination, even if it is one step or half a step. Is it more important to focus on recovering from my disability? Is it more important to focus on aging and decaying? Those are irrelevant to me. What I am seeking for is the immortal, universal perspective.
Dreams should not remain dreams. In order to make it into reality, I must be patient, try my best, and work hard. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work” (Thomas Edison). The reality of a longing dream is the continuous work and daily struggles and conflict that come with it. The first step is setting a goal. Achieve that. By doing so, the dream takes shape. I often hope that time stops. I regretted the poor excuse I had of laziness that allowed time to pass without creating any shapes. Currently, it seems as though time has stopped for the world. Without being agitated, without panicking, without throwing it all away, and without giving up, I would like to wait for the end. Painful, terrible experiences will always become things in the past. We will never forget your shapes.
If you live in the city, most people will take shape within 2 to 3 minutes. However, with my habits, it takes more than 2 to 3 years. Within the 2 to 3 minutes, I repeatedly move, lose, and give up. I was running away. If I stayed, I would have been able to be patient enough to change. I do not mind pocketing my pride. “Break the stone bridge.” The more stone bridges broken, the easier it is to cross it. The length will be shorter and faster to cross the stone bridge. Yet, tragedy will always strike. There are no wrongdoers or victims. If those who overcome these tragedies are humankind, those who continue facing tragedies are also humankind. Even though this writing is a lyric poem, I believe what humankind is experiencing right now is the foundation to become a new epic poem. The hero is every one of us.
People fall and roll around, just like a snowball. It becomes bigger every second, but when spring comes, snow melts. The torch continues burning in Tokyo.